July 20, 2011

Again.

Yes, I failed - like again? Clap your hands blogger hearts, I'm such a LOSER. Kan kan kannnnn? Tadi masa pergi semangat gila, hoping dapat jalan yang lain, siap boleh berborak dengan few girls which they are sort of helping me a lot untuk tenangkan diri. Grab a chocolate, bagi lagi tenang. I test around 10 something macam tu. Dan entah kenapa, I khayal. I macam daydreaming, and I realized that something is wrong with me. Sampai tak check yang actually kereta tu tak start lagi, yang actually handbrake tak tarik lagi, yang actually gear pun tak free lagi. Amboi, mentang-mentang officer sebelah tu handsome, comel dan tersangatlah baik hati sebab tolong bukakkan cermin tingkap kereta. Kalau officer lain, kau jangan haraplah. Okay, enough with that. Yang I tau dia buat-buat tak nampak je yang I tak start engine lagi, tak free kan gear semua. Masa tu hati dah, OMG. Mati aku. Plus bila dia kata - Laluan B. Hati I dah macam - whattttt ? -,-" And everything was fine sampai la dekat roundabout. Bila I dah ready nak jalan, enjin mati pulakkkk. Dekat situ je lutut ni dah ketaqqqq. Dan-dan nak jalan ada pulak kereta lalu and yes, I sedar yang someone dengan baik hatinya tolong tekankan brake pedal. Which lead to - padan muka kau, kau kandas lagi. Yay, yay, yay! Okay, awak sila ke tempat parking tu. And I pun drive la dengan tenangnya, dah tau kan kandas. Dah tau kan tu kesalahan mandatori. Kau merengek buat muka comel macam mana pun kalau dia dah suruh ke tepi tu memang tiada maaf bagi mu lah kan. Dan dengan tenangnya dengarlah segala keterangan tentang kesalahan hari ini. Macam biasalah, memandu secara merbahaya. Tak aware tentang penggunaan brake. And senyum jela kan. Otw balik, boraklah. He's cute, he's nice and I'm like so comfortable with him. Next week kita jumpa lagi ye! And yes, I ingat nama dia. Nanti jumpa senyum sajalah :) I tau officer yang akan test I nanti officer lain. Parents? Jangan cakap lah. Awak failed sekali boleh la mereka terima. Kalau second time? Itu salah awak. And yes - they said please please and please change your attitude. I tau apa yang jadi ni might be sebab kes I ada buat hal dua hari lepas. I can't say any word, I just assume it's some kind of reward for my bad behavior. Kadang-kadang apa yang jadi adalah turutan-rantaian dari apa yang kita pernah lakukan. Muhasabah diri. I don't cry sebab I failed for the second time, but the tears almost fall down because of I have disappointed both of my parents. I screwed everything up. I'm a loser. I won't give up but I almost. I just don't know what are my feeling right now. Ya Allah, please give me the strength. :'(

Ijustcan'tfaceanotherbadday,
Faa.

1 comment:

AR said...

Faa syg, I know what you feel right now, rasa mcm kita ni failure gila sbb dah hancurkan harapan mak bapak. Rasa mcm tak guna je sebab benda senang macam ni boleh fail dua kali but hey, I have to repeat three times and litar plak tu, lagi senang dari kau tp aku boleh fail sampai repeat 3 kali, so relaks. Just do your best next time, setiap kesalahan on first and second test ni ambil pengajaran for next time k love? Takmo sedih sedih tau! <3